Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Man, I Feel Like a Woman!

This is hot...

A journalist lived as a man for almost two years and documented it....

She said it is easier to be a woman than a man, because society has molded men to surpress feelings...

Who do you feel has it easier, men or women?
The floor is open...

Monday, January 30, 2006

Eww..Aaron Spelling sexually harassed someone

Then again, it seems better to get groped by him, than his talentless, wretched daughter with the caved-in chest....

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Tag, I'm It...

I got nailed my Damasta
Here goes. Now tag yoself, bee-otches...

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what did you think?
Look at that zit...look out, it's gonna blow!

2. How much cash do you have on you?:
A Bob's Big Boy Bank with pennies, nickels and dimes.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?:
[David] Gest

4. Favorite planet?:
Yer anus.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?:
My cousin Marilyn

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?:
A silent phone is the best phone.

7. What shirt are you wearing?:
A black Deftones hoodie.

8. Do you "label" yourself?:
Only if it is one of those "Hi! My name is" labels.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing now:
None. My feet are going commando.

10. Bright or Dark Room?:
Dark. With TV, pillows, couch, and Froot Loops with apple juice.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Damasta-she is hilarious and edgy.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Coming down from a caffeine high.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?:
What r u up 2 2day?

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?:
Broadway and Pine. Why, are you gonna bring me a slurpee?

16. What's a saying(s) that you say a lot?:
Turning the word WHORE into adjectives and verbs....
-whor-a delic

17.Who told you they loved you last?:
My sister.

18. Last furry thing you touched?:
My chin. Uhh...I mean Jinx.

19. How Many days of work did you miss this week:
None. At least physically...

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?:
One from 2003.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?:

22. Your worst enemy?:
This could take up a lot of time and space. So I will say nada.

23. What is your current desktop picture:
Adrian Brody. Damn, he's delish in an ugly-sexy kinda way.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?:
Hi to my neighbor, Rod. No, that's not a nickname.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose?:
I could build wings with a million bucks. And get more miles with America West.

26. Do you like someone?:
As in 5th grade like? Hell, no. Do I lust someone? yes.

27. The last song you listened to?:
The theme song of Golden Girls.

28. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson?:
Gotta stay true to my Pussycat Dolls. I'd say Carmen.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

He Can Come Over and Make Me See God Anytime!

God, I love stunts that are branded offensive and stir the majority of people up...
It's all in the name of art...

You go on wit yo bad self, Kanye...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I Left My Heart in San Fra...I Mean Los Angeles...

Help! I am being held hostage in my favorite city (not!) San Francisco.

I have a stressful, busy next few days...so I will be back in blogworld in a few days.

In the meantime, here is a lovely photo I snapped today of South San Francisco...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hotties in Sports...

Okay...These guys could actually make me care about sports...

Australian swimmer Matt Welsh...

Bam Margera

Carey Hart

David Beckham

Andy Roddick

Tiger Woods

And check this out...Damn that Brett Favre... This photo was sent to me by Bozette. Grandma looks ecstatic!

Monday, January 23, 2006

I Got Tagged...

I got tagged by Bozette

1. Grab the nearest book. Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

5. Tag yourself, beeotch...

Mine: Tweekend.
"You just never know what is going to happen when she shows up"

Wow. Kinda like me!

I Know Nothing About Sports....

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Fate Brought Me and Kimmie Together...

Editor's note: Here is a repost of a post I wrote Saturday, September 24, 2005.
Please note the extra special mention of Kimmie Gibler.

Thanks a lot, Design Goddess, for pointing this out...How could we forget?

This is the real reason to detest San Francisco.

There is so much to hate about this show...where do I start?

Joey-A loser-dork of a guy who cannot get through one episode without talking like Yogi Bear...Is it true, or urban legend that Alanis Morrisette wrote "You Outta Know" about him? Apparently someone was a fan...

Uncle Jesse-This slacker is the King of Mullets...Have Mercy!
Michelle- Nothing, I mean nothing, makes me more hostile than hearing stupid Michelle say crap like, "You got it, dude." It ain't cute. It's retarded.

DJ-This is the only 11 year old I know who wears more makeup than a French whore and she dates boys!
Steph-she could've been killed off and no one would care. Whiny little over-bited-lisp kid...
Danny-Hated his stupid "Honey jokes" on America's Funniest Home Videos...
Kimmy Gibbler-This whore is the only good thing to come out of this show
Becky-This bitch married a slacker, but is totally oh-so-successful as a news anchor woman...I hate her...
Ratings are down? Let's add triplets! or where they twins?

There. I feel better getting this off my chest...
"You got it, dude..."

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Bob Saget Kicks Ass.

Picture this...Brea, California. The Improv.
Where I saw my dream guy, Bob Saget.
They force you to buy food and drinks. Drink are fine, but who in the hell could eat? I am about to see Bob Saget!

This photo was of some dude from the Apprentice, he was the opening act. Funny, but bring out Bob Saget for god's sake!

Here he is...in the flesh...
Well. It worked.
I got noticed, alright.
I was a constant joke in his show. And he called me by my name!
And I was given the chance to give out my blog address. It was too long, so I said," google Jinx the Wondercat."

And I got hate mail this morning. It was rad.

RMCginnis2@socal.rr.com writes:
you should really shut your mouth at a comedy show bob saget is gay any way

That deserves an autographed photo of me and my ass.

I even proposed marriage to Bob. He said he couldn't marry me cuz I sound like a chicken and I talk too much.
Wow. It's true love.

Fuck, he's funny. I highly recommend his show.

Bob Saget has my blog address.

My friend Joab had a good time...

The highlight of my night?

I met Kimmie Gibler.AKK! I met Kimmie Gibler!!! If you do not know who Kimmie Gibler is, you should not even be reading this...

She was at the show. I surprised her by screaming as she walked out of the bathroom stall. Her real name is Andrea, but who cares. She will always be Kimmie to me.

I love you, Bob Saget!!!!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Welcome to the "Get Bob Saget to Notice Me" Project

Tonight me and my trusty pal Joab are going to see Bob Saget at the Brea Improv in Orange County.

My Goal: Meet him. Or get his attention.

My Ultimate Goal: Take him to the Doubletree Hotel and have my way with him.
Sorry, Joab. You will have to wait outside.

My Realistic Goal: Eye contact with him.
And maybe a snapped photo at the show on the sly.

Is it me, or is it hot in here?

jinxthewondercat jinx the wondercat jinx the wonder cat .blogspot blogspot blogspot.com

I Confess!

Okay. There is something I need to come clean about. It's been bothering me for some time now...it crept up on me, then POW!

I am secretly in love with Bob Saget.

I can't help it. He's funny. He's raunchy. He's nasty.
He's fricking sexy.

I want to bear his children. Or be his personal school-girl. Whatever is more convenient.

He is not like his character Danny on Full House, nor the stuffed-shirt announcer of America's Funniest Home Videos.

Remember those "Honey" jokes at the end of each show?

He has shed that good guy image, and now jokes about sex, goats, sex, goats, and a bunch of other stuff...

And get this, tonight I am going to see him live at the Brea Improv.

It's fate. We were meant to be together.

I must now go gargle.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


This guy sucks...
For the past three days at work, I had a terrible sneezing problem...we're talking 30 sneezes at a time.

I could walk around the office, hands clenched on my throat, looking like I need the heimlich maneuver, and no one would notice.
But sneeze more than 3 times, and the whole office is watching...

The annoying bouts where people around you are blessing you a million times and asking, "are you okay? are you okay?"

No, I am not okay...I think I am dying...

Three days of multiple sneezes, a box of kleenex, a thing of Claritin, and several trips to the restroom to make sure the egg-white snot was at least smeared into my shirt...

it blends in nicely if the shirt is cotton...

Then I found out that a coworker hung her self-knitted mohair sweater-coat behind my office door

I used to love goats. Now I wish they would all die.

Is William Hung?

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Highway to Hell

Bill the Apostle and Jesus and
Satan, himself have informed me that my evil ways are earning me a fast-track ticket to hell...

If I don't change my ways, I am screwed.
-I laugh at retarded people.
-I cheat on my taxes.
-I sleep around.
-I pretend crackers are communion. And drink lots of wine.
-Religious talk makes me horny.
-I butt in line.

What are some bad things you have done to take the carpool lane into hell?

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Excuse Me While I Go Dyke-Out For a Minute...

Sorry, J Lo and Lindsay Lohan...I am replacing you with Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls...

She sings, acts, dances, and writes music...wow.

It should be against the law to be this beautiful...

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Jinx, I Don't Think We're in Kansas Anymore...

Thank goodness...I made it back to LaLa Land...

Being in MO and KS has raised a few questions:

1)Why does everyone there drink Dr. Pepper? I even saw some broad wearing a Dr. Pepper shirt...And not on purpose, like the retro ones you get at Hot Topic at the mall...

Last time I checked, the commercial about "I'm a pepper, you're a pepper, wouldn't you like to be a pepper, too" has not been aired on TV since 1986...

2)Is it really that necessary to have two Super Wal-Marts in Wichita?

3)Stuff is cheap in Kansas. I thought about going on a major clothes shopping spree to save a buttload of money. Then said, "Why bother? Kansas has no style," and later on, someone would compliment my on my sweater, and damn if I'd say, "Oh, this? I got this in the Kansas Fashion District!"

4)People in Wichita complain about their traffic. Whatever. Go ride a plow.

5)All the cows must be stored somewhere in the winter. I was looking forward to pulling off the freeway for some good-natured cow tipping. Bastards.
6)Why do people in Wichita wear flip flops in winter?

Monday, January 09, 2006

Kansas City Here I Come....

Well...off to Kansas City, Kansas, then off to an itty-bitty city called Wichita..

Yippee Skippy!

This photo came up when I googled "Wichita".

I hopefully will get crazy enough to do some kind of project while here...

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Are You Coming Home to San Francisco....

That's Alcatraz...
These schmucks have my dream life...laying around all fat in the sun...

Friday, January 06, 2006


I stole this from Spinning Girl and I am hoping my fave chicka in Texas, DaMasta will steal it and make it hilarious... feel free to steal this for your own narcissitic fun...

[A is for age:]
32. Mentally, 21.

[B is for booze of choice]
Skyy and Sobe

[C is for career]
I am a real, live Where's Waldo.

[D is for your dog's name:]
If I had one, a Boxer named Boxchomp.

[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
mostly people...but sometimes shower gel...

[F is for favorite song at the moment:]
Bat Country by Avenged Sevenfold

[G is for favorite games:]
Hide the Salami

[H is for hometown:]
I be representin' da LBC. Word up.

[I is for instruments you play:]

[J is for jam or jelly you like]
Cheapass 32-oz jars of grape jelly from Wal-Mart

[K is for kids?:]
Never. They would land in protective custody. See Country Love.

[L is for last kiss?:]
The corporate ass...the dirty-sanchez corporate ass...

[M is for most admired trait:]

[N is for name of your crush:]
Got my spine and I got my Orange Crush...

[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
Toncillectomy age 13. My sex-change is NOYB.

[P is for phobias:]
Men speaking, trains, and Macaw Parrots

[Q is for quotes you like:]
"If you want the girl next door, go next door." Joan Crawford.

[R is for biggest regret:]
Flipping off the whole 3rd grade music class from an outside window at school and getting punished by that whore Sister Marie Catherine.

[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Nutrageous bars and frosted pop-tarts, and snorting pixie-stix.

[T is for time you wake up:]
6:30 AM, PST

[U is for underwear:]
What are you eatin' under there?

[V is for vegetable you love:]
Potatoes. preferably soaked in grease.

[W is for worst habit:]
Over-use of the word Whore.

[X is for x-rays you've had:]
I never dated a Ray...

[Y is for yummy food you make:]
I can boil Raman Noodles in the microwave.

[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Pisces. The original badfish...

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Pssst....Can we talk?

I am burnt on blogging...is this normal?

And did you know Fiddle Faddle makes your jaw hurt like Power Bars do? (It's 10 for $10 at Alberston's....)

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Oh no...I'm off to San Francisco for a few days...

Oh My God! It's My Prison Boyfriend's Birthday!

So I got him a card...

It says, "Scooter the Squirrel would give his left nut to make sure you have a happy birthday..."

Gawd, I make a great inmate's girlfriend...

All this talk about nuts makes me hot for a conjugal visit...bad...

Monday, January 02, 2006

My Holiday Recap

I snapped these flying over the Rockies...

Denver now has Del Taco!!!

Everyone and their mother wears crocs in Denver...I guess they are made in Boulder, Co...it was a buzz kill...But at least I remain the only person in CA who actually wears them, and owns two pairs...

Everyone in Denver wears Bronco sweatshirts....fashion suicide...

I took my 4 year old niece to Chuck E. Cheese looking like this...aren't I a cool aunt?

Skalawag, my parents' spoiled cat...

I got to hang out with my friend El Jorge Curiouso, and Kenny, too!

And get this...my dumbass left my car/house keys on my parent's kitchen table...and arrived at LAX realizing it...Cupcake, whom was cat sitting for me, had to come pick my ass up and take me home...and my mother had to Fed Ex my keys today...

Glad to be home!
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