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Hello, everyone. My name is JorgeElCurioso (Curious George for the Spanish-challenged,) and I am here to discuss stalking with you, as I consider myself somewhat of an authority on the subject having been the subject of a stalker. Have I ever stalked anyone you ask? In the eyes of the law – absolutely not. Have I harassed and annoyed people, well… YES I HAVE.
Remember when you could actually prank call people without caller id, and call trace, and all that B.S. I was a fantastic prank caller. I convinced people that the state was going to offer them money to move their house to make way for a new highway, made people think they won cash and prizes, conducted many a “midnight poll,”
(which actually commonly occurred around 2-3 a.m.), AND… made a lot of people believe I was someone I was not. I actually convinced Mel that I was an angry black man and I was coming to her hotel in the middle of the night!Anyway… back to the matter at hand…
Let me give you the ACTUAL legal mumbo-jumbo as it relates to stalking (in Colorado, anyway…)
Section 18-9-111 of the Colorado Criminal Code with regard to stalking states that:
A person knowingly commits stalking if directly, or indirectly through another person, such person knowingly:
I.Makes a credible threat to another person and, in connection with such threat, repeatedly follows, approaches, contacts, or places under surveillance that person, a member of that person’s immediate family, or someone with whom that person has or has had a continuing relationship in a manner that would cause that person serious emotional distress.
In Colorado, stalking is a Class 5 felony punishable by one to three in prison. Now, many of us have engaged in HARASSMENT which greatly differs from stalking. Let me give you a few examples:
-Driving by your ex’s house to see if they are home… NOT STALKING. Driving by your ex’s house repeatedly while shouting “I’m going to kill you, motherfu*ker…” STALKING.
-Calling someone at all hours of the night and hanging up when they answer? Annoying as hell, but NOT STALKING. Calling someone all day and night and describing in detail how you plan to dismember them… STALKING. Listen kids, I could post the Colorado HARASSMENT laws, and EVERY ONE OF US is guilty, guilty, guilty in some respect. Making obscene gestures at another person? You guessed it… harassment! Speaking profanely to another person. Yes, yes! HARASSMENT! So, next time you are thinking about drunk dialing the ex and telling them to get the hell bent – feel free! The punishment is a LOT less severe (unless you are a repeat offender… in which case… maybe your next call should be to A.A.) However, if you feel like driving by the ex’s house waving a loaded weapon… maybe you should pass (and consider psychiatric help!) I’m Jorge El Curioso, and I approve this message.