ABCs

I stole this from Spinning Girl and I am hoping my fave chicka in Texas, DaMasta will steal it and make it hilarious... feel free to steal this for your own narcissitic fun...


[A is for age:]
32. Mentally, 21.

[B is for booze of choice]
Skyy and Sobe

[C is for career]
I am a real, live Where's Waldo.

[D is for your dog's name:]
If I had one, a Boxer named Boxchomp.

[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
mostly people...but sometimes shower gel...

[F is for favorite song at the moment:]
Bat Country by Avenged Sevenfold

[G is for favorite games:]
Hide the Salami

[H is for hometown:]
I be representin' da LBC. Word up.

[I is for instruments you play:]
ringtones.

[J is for jam or jelly you like]
Cheapass 32-oz jars of grape jelly from Wal-Mart

[K is for kids?:]
Never. They would land in protective custody. See Country Love.

[L is for last kiss?:]
The corporate ass...the dirty-sanchez corporate ass...

[M is for most admired trait:]
Easygoing.

[N is for name of your crush:]
Got my spine and I got my Orange Crush...

[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
Toncillectomy age 13. My sex-change is NOYB.

[P is for phobias:]
Men speaking, trains, and Macaw Parrots

[Q is for quotes you like:]
"If you want the girl next door, go next door." Joan Crawford.

[R is for biggest regret:]
Flipping off the whole 3rd grade music class from an outside window at school and getting punished by that whore Sister Marie Catherine.

[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Nutrageous bars and frosted pop-tarts, and snorting pixie-stix.

[T is for time you wake up:]
6:30 AM, PST

[U is for underwear:]
What are you eatin' under there?

[V is for vegetable you love:]
Potatoes. preferably soaked in grease.

[W is for worst habit:]
Over-use of the word Whore.

[X is for x-rays you've had:]
I never dated a Ray...

[Y is for yummy food you make:]
I can boil Raman Noodles in the microwave.


[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Pisces. The original badfish...