Monday, December 19, 2005

The Marry Me, Prisoner Project

So I am browsing through the tons of eligible prison bachelors...decisions, decisions...
I am like a kid in a candystore, with all the choices...manslaughter...armed robbery...grand theft auto...drugs...murder...you know, the usual...

Nothing like a good felony to break the ice!

Here are a few I have stumbled upon...

Check out this hotty bad boy in prison...


He kinda looks like Matt Dillon...

I think I'm gonna go with this one:

Everyone, please meet Christopher. Convicted of DWI (I'm sure manslaughter, though it doesn't say) He is located in TX.
He is 23 years old...
Yes. I like 'em young...Please! This is a fantasy of a lifetime! Like I am gonna do this with some old dude!

I'm off to ponder what is going to be in my letter...

26 Comments:

Blogger Phats said...

good luck with this, maybe you'll find you a catch, just hope they don't catch you!

2:19 PM PST  
Blogger Cupcake said...

Ooooh, he's a cutie. You sure you don't want me to set you up with my son, though? It may be safer.

2:23 PM PST  
Blogger Shoe Diva said...

This should be interesting

2:40 PM PST  
Blogger bozette said...

The 1st one kind of reminds me of Manson. Hey there you go Manson we all know he will never get out. LOL
2ND one dose look like Matt. I am wondering what is tatooed on his bod.
3RD one is a cutey. He may need AA. To get sobered up. Huntsville is between Dallas and Houston close to the Louisiana boarder.

2:41 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

I agree...he is a cutie...

so I am off to the post office to set up my PO BOX...$40 a year is a small amount to pay to keep prisoners from coming over...

this tattoo says- SadEyes...
he also looks a little like Mark McGraff that Sugar Ray dude...

2:48 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

cucake, only if he has a felony on his record...

2:49 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

And, I verified with the State of Texas prison site that he is indeed there...

I knew one of you moms out there in blogland was gonna ask!

2:50 PM PST  
Blogger Cupcake said...

I wonder if he has an older brother in prison? If we married them both we could be sisters!!

4:31 PM PST  
Blogger The Future said...

non related to your affinity to jailmates, but I have linked you. P.S I am in town next week if you want to do the fastfood thing

4:50 PM PST  
Blogger bozette said...

Guidelines for letter writngs

Writing to prisoners is a very rewarding experience, but for someone
who has never attempted it before, it can be a little daunting and
difficult. Here are a few general guidelines to assist you and if you
need further help, please contact the Prison Pen Pal Service owner.
Their email is available at the main-page and they will be more than
happy to advise you. Your first letter should be an introduction
and it can be as brief or as detailed as you want it to be, but
dont tell too much at the first time, keep something for subsequent
letters. Tell your new friend a little about yourself, your family and
where you live, also a little about your job and your hobbies and
interests Include a few basic questions to give him/her something to
reply to. Do not ask an inmate about his/her crime or sentence - and
no way ever in the very first letter - this is a personal matter
and should be left for your friend to tell you, if and when they chose;
in most cases they will do it themselves after they feel a little more
comfortable with you when they got to know you a little more
and better. Always include your name and return address: both on
your envelope and inside your letter or card. Not all prisons allow
their inmates to have the envelope and without your address,
they wont be able to reply. If you feel, you wont be able to write often
or regularly, please explain this to your friend at the beginning, so
he/she will know exactly what they can expect and not be
disappointed later on and start to wonder what has happen.
Never feel pressured to send money. Most prisoners will not ask
but some do and no-one should ever feel obliged, to send money in.
for any reason, which is anyway not allowed to include into letters
but has to be done by money order only. Try not to make promises
that you cannot uphold. Sometimes inmates will ask you to visit them,
if you are unable or unwilling to do this, please let them know at the
beginning. Remember, a lot of prisoners are limited financially and
may not always be able to respond right away. Be patient and if
you are concerned, just write again or perhaps send a card to
check and seeif your friend is ok. Sometimes it can happen that mail
get lost and your friend might not have gotten your mail or he/she is
transferred in the meantime; not all prisons forward mail to the new
address, instead of they return it to you, some do not. If you dont
hear anything from your friend a while, please contact the warden of
the prison where he/she was in before and let him know when you
heard from your friend last time; he will check and let you know what
had happen or if your friend got released in the menatime if you dont
know yet his/her exact date of release.The warden is to reach at the
same address as the prison, just address it to "the warden" , even
if you dont know his exact name: he will get it anyway.It is not
adversable, to write to more than one inmate in the same facility;
it can cause fights between the inmates and should be avoided.
Please never forget, that prisoners are humans like you - they have
feelings too and can be hurt as easy as you or anyone else: treat
them as you want to be treated: always with respect and courtesy.
Please never include anything or decorate your mail with stickers -
most prisons wont allow that and reject your mail and the inmate
needs to pay to return your letter to you, many wont be able
to afford it. Do always ask for the rules what is allowed to be sent,
your friend will know that and tell you. Books are always to be sent by
the publisher, photos are never allowed as polaroids. Chose carefully
what and how you writethings: incoming and outgoing mail will be read
by mailroom staff,they can reject your mail and your friend will be
held responsible for what you write to him. Although some prisoners
are kept under extremely strict confinement, especially those in
Death Row or Supermax Unites, prison staff will allow uninterrupted
correspondence, as long as the RULES ARE ADHERED TO.
Rules vary from prison to prison, there for please check the link at the
disclaimer - there is a page that helps you further. It is inadvisable, to i
include anything in your letters without asking your friend what is
allowed. Prison rules are never to bend or broken for any reason,
failure to comply with these rules can result in being witheld or
rejected - in the worst cases, your friend can be punished and
even lose his mail privilegs. Remember: mail is not a right - it is a
privilegfor a person incarcerated - it an be suspended anytime
for any reason or even taken away.

4:52 PM PST  
Blogger Cupcake said...

I have a feelings Bozette has had some experience with this subject. That is a very informative piece of advice.

5:03 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

Thank you, I had a feeling i might get writer's block...

DAMN U, FUTURE! I AM IN DENVER 12/24-12/31...
BUT MAKE SURE U GO TO DEL TACO...

5:19 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

Wow...I forgot about the cost of stamps...hope I picked a rich inmate!

5:28 PM PST  
Blogger Shannon said...

All I can say is.... LMAO!!!

5:30 PM PST  
Blogger Design Goddess said...

Did you post the site for this database somewhere and I missed it? I need to find myself a fella too!

5:35 PM PST  
Blogger Calzone said...

You think thats funny? You should try fucking one of them.

5:38 PM PST  
Blogger Mae Midwest said...

I think you should send him the big hair rocker chick makeover photos.

6:09 PM PST  
Blogger Mae Midwest said...

Oh, and WHERE do you find their pictures? Do they advertise on the prison website, lookin for love? How do you know he isn't taken already by another blogger ho?

6:11 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

HAAAA! Mae- I love it....well...it would be no different to be cheated on by another blogger, since Chris S. of Los Angeles did it to me...screw you, Chris!!! I hate you!!!

Design-I will ask if he has a cellmate for you....

Calzone-trying to rain on my
parade...

Just to clarify everything, I am really not a wicked person. I am just gonna write him in a sincere manner, and see if he responds. who knows, he could be cool, or he could be a dick...
I am not really gonna marry him, I am gonna marry Tim Healy. (gawd, I hope he's reading this....)

6:50 PM PST  
Blogger bozette said...

I worked in a prison. And this is in the handbook.

7:21 PM PST  
Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

OMG....LMFAOOOOOOOO...I can't wait to see how this unfolds....

I can imagine one of the letters from him...
My Dear Sweet Melissa,
Your eyes glow like the search lights at night, sparkle like the barbed wire when the sun catches it just right...I write your name in my mashed taters every night..
Until your next letter I shall think of you as I'm curled up in my cot next to Bubba !
Eternally yours (or at least from 5-10 years)
Christopher

7:35 PM PST  
Blogger platkat said...

Guys without arms are sexy.

7:39 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

Superspy- you are, hands down, the most hilarious person in the world....can i hump your leg?

plat-thay drummer from def leppard is hot.

7:49 PM PST  
Blogger sabatkes said...

I go offline because my pc sucks and what the hell happened while I was gone?

There must have been a lot of drinkin' going on!

8:35 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

Oh...there was a lot more going on than drinking...this is a fantasy, remember?

8:42 PM PST  
Blogger babyjewels said...

You cannot go wrong with with a full stomach tattoo.

4:24 AM PST  

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