I Work This Runway, Bitch...
Ready for this story? Good. Here goes...picture this:
Little Melissa Fisher. Grade 3.
St. Bernadette Catholic School Lakewood, Colorado. (A suburb of Denver)
Circa 1981. We had career day. I left the house, my mom thinking I was going as a veterinarian. Take Sparky, the little yellow dog with you, Missa (as my Mom used to call me)
Little did she know what I had stashed in my backpack; orange Revlon lipstick, blue L'Oreal eyeshadow, Aqua-net in a pump bottle, and a Lady's Home Journal. Stolen from her, and my older sister, Robin... and I was armed with my Pigs In Space lunchbox:
(I am so excited about sharing this story, cuz KAREN THE GREAT, my awesome, other sister, may remember this. Karen, this is the only BAD thing that happened in childhood. Trust me...)
I arrived at school.
Mrs. Newsome asked, "Who are you?"
My teacher, Mrs. Newsome, was cool and hip for an old chic. (24 years)
The new principal, Sister Jean, was not. She was one of those hags that wrote her name on stuff, calling herself Princi-PAL.
She said, "You are too short to ever be a model. You may want to try something else,"
Fuck you, Sr. Jean Martin, and the Father you rode in on...
I grew to be a whopping 5 feet. Yes, I am short.
Fuck you, Sr. Jean Martin, and the Father you rode in on...
This new site is a way for me to constantly post what I like and dislike in this genre, since tabloids, E!, and having a harem of gay men in my life has seemed to work for so many years...
And I now live vicariously through these GIANT GIRLS
Enjoy, and feel free to email me photos of what you like in fashion, good and bad...
May we all be as free as birds, gay as picnic baskets, and shout out, "Oh, no, she didn't!" when we see some fat chick in spandex...
Little Melissa Fisher. Grade 3.
St. Bernadette Catholic School Lakewood, Colorado. (A suburb of Denver)
Circa 1981. We had career day. I left the house, my mom thinking I was going as a veterinarian. Take Sparky, the little yellow dog with you, Missa (as my Mom used to call me)
Little did she know what I had stashed in my backpack; orange Revlon lipstick, blue L'Oreal eyeshadow, Aqua-net in a pump bottle, and a Lady's Home Journal. Stolen from her, and my older sister, Robin... and I was armed with my Pigs In Space lunchbox:
(I am so excited about sharing this story, cuz KAREN THE GREAT, my awesome, other sister, may remember this. Karen, this is the only BAD thing that happened in childhood. Trust me...)
I arrived at school.
Mrs. Newsome asked, "Who are you?"
My teacher, Mrs. Newsome, was cool and hip for an old chic. (24 years)
The new principal, Sister Jean, was not. She was one of those hags that wrote her name on stuff, calling herself Princi-PAL.
She said, "You are too short to ever be a model. You may want to try something else,"
Fuck you, Sr. Jean Martin, and the Father you rode in on...
I grew to be a whopping 5 feet. Yes, I am short.
Fuck you, Sr. Jean Martin, and the Father you rode in on...
This new site is a way for me to constantly post what I like and dislike in this genre, since tabloids, E!, and having a harem of gay men in my life has seemed to work for so many years...
And I now live vicariously through these GIANT GIRLS
Enjoy, and feel free to email me photos of what you like in fashion, good and bad...
May we all be as free as birds, gay as picnic baskets, and shout out, "Oh, no, she didn't!" when we see some fat chick in spandex...
ByLBseahag at 8:10 PM
12 Comments:
LOL its you?! hah thats great
LB, your mind works in mysterious ways, AND I LOVE IT!!
So the Jig is up hey?, When are you going to tell them you're ME too?
Darn, I lost my first comment.
I just wanted to say you are America's Next Top Blogger! You're Fierce. I also wanted you to know that I had a granney square vest complete with a vinyl brown back to it. Total couture. And it really worked on a fat kid. Yeah me.)
Tina- Did you get hit by Gerard, too? Nice...
I went blogging nuts the other night..
Michael-Thank you. I almost typed "thanks for the inspiration..."
and thought, I better clarify that...THANK YOU FOR THE WRITING INSPIRATION!
Cher- You are me. Blame Canada!
Baby Jewel- Do you still have that sweater/afgan?
And will you mail it to me? You as a fat kid, means it will fit me as a fat adult...
No, I didn't have Gerard sashay past my site, but I've noticed him on others ;)
Btw..I am so digging all of your sites! What a brilliant imagination you have!!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Busted!!!
okay..i am only 4'11"..
my bad...i remember when you discovered that at the hall of life....
if it makes you feel any better, i'm only 5'2"...and that's only because i round up.
Thank you, Duff...
At least we never bump our heads, and we play a mean game of limbo!
I don't have it anymore, but I MAY have a picture of me in it. I will certainly send you that. Suitable for framing.
Piiiiiiiigs Iiiiiiiin Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace
I LOVED the Muppet Show! It ROCKED!!! And you are even cooler by having that lunchbox to carry each and every day to school. Man I'm jealous.
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