It'S a SpiDeR, MaN!
Today I was minding my own business, drinking my Snapple. MMMM...Such a refreshing sidekick for my lunch...I look under the cap...Usually, you win a prize under beverage lids...What did my my lid say?
"The average person eats 8 spiders in a lifetime while sleeping."
What the hell?
The world of useless information has gone too far...Even knowing the word Spider was sloshing around in my Snapple made me ill...
Why the hell does Snapple think they should be the one to offer PSAs about what we eat in the privacy of our own beds?
Keep a Snapple bedside...it'll make that puppy go down easy!
Tell me I am not the only one to get my appetite ruined over this surprise message.
So I was then thinking...
Is this urban legend?
Snapple, is it true?
What about the chick who sliced her tongue licking envelopes and a spider egg crawled in?
The eggs crawl in the eggs crawl out....
And what about the girl who had an earache for a year, and finally went to the doctor, and they found it was a wax-embalmed spider smashing up against her brain?
So I am afraid to sleep now, scared stiff about sending a Birthday card, and terrified a tarantula is going to seek refuge in my ear...
Thanks a lot, Snapple...
Stick to what you do best...scaring us with this chick was enough:
At least I know she won't fit in my mouth!