MMM Good...Magically Delicious...SNAP CRACKLE POP...What the Hell Do Those Keebler Elves Say???

Hello. Remember my Thanksgiving Pumpkin pie? I am not known as a cook, chef, baker, nor foodie...but I am known to the Long Beach Fire Department, for setting off my alarm any time I risk using my oven.

So I am gonna try again. I am gonna bake cookies today! Plus, since I will be sharing them with a friend, I want to prove to him I didn't add any anthrax. Arsenic, maybe, but that is none of your business...
Okay...I figured the only way to make a little Elfin' Magic, I needed to channel my inner elf.



What I can't figure out, is why in the hell did I splurge on brand name sugars and flour, but bought some off-brand, generic baking soda? I think I saved like 2 cents...

I turn my back for two seconds, and who do you think I find loving-up on the mixer?


Just to prove I ain't nasty like that, here I am washing the mixer attachments...with soap...in hot water...
I might not shop at Tru Valu ever again...look at these eggs I bought...is that Garfield on the left? And Joan Crawford on the right????
Down the hatch! Get it???

I'm mad at the makers of Vanilla Extract...they sell you this big 'ol bottle, and you only need a teaspoon...

Wow! It's starting to look edible!
This, however, is not...Hey...it was only four seconds!
Once again, just to prove I ain't nasty like that...off to the garbarge dump in the sky!

Just look at my oven...this is the mayhem of a year's worth of burnt pizza, pies, and the Marie Callendar's Chicken Potpie I blew up a few months ago...


I am so glad chocolate chip cookies are the kind you don't have to touch with your hands...ew. I bet it feels gnarly in your fingers and when it crusts up your ring...

Yay! Thery're ready to come out of oven-hell!
Guess I was over-doing it when I decided to unplug the fire detector...Eat this, LBFD!

Victory!!!!


The arsenic is kicking in...gotta go...

There.
Now go spread your own lovin' from the oven...