Saturday, December 03, 2005

Come One Come All...LBSEAHAG'S Puppet Show...

Hello, Blogger World! Welcome!
Today's feature presentation is brought to you live from Puppet Central...

Somewhere out there, on the mean streets of LA, a Barbie Doll is screaming, "Ahhh! Don't cut my Hair!!!"


...

After doing FU, I mean...after creating FU,I had to go have some alone time with my hand...Damn, he is fricking hot...Notice I drew your eyes OPEN! Hollywood, here you come!
You need to add LL in front of your name, like LLCOOLJ cuz Ladies love ya!


Damasta...I think we are speaking Mexican...But fuck you, I used up all my red marker on your big-ass lips...bee-otch...Nice curly hair...I am so onto you, the hood and the rat, and the mattress...bring it on...opps...I forgot the llama, ravioli, and gluestick...How many licks will it take to get to the center...



....


T. Leach
you bugger, I had a difficult time...for mainstream identity, I chose your profile photo...but we all know you would've looked much nicer as the
The Don't Hate Me Cuz I'm Blind Chick

After I snapped this, I realized from far you look like a snatch....


Cher...Cher...Cher...All that hair hides the scars from when I opened your brain and took a dump in it...You have an American 1000 Grand Bar...how grand...BLAME CANADA! You are my ispiration...We share a brain...Me wuv you, ay!



Steph,I was trying to recreate my fave photo of you, where you are all crossed eyed...what's that you say? Oh, my bad...its genetic...I still wanna make out with you, and when you cry, tears will run down your back...I see you cut your hair, too (editor's note: "You were too cheapass to buy brown long yarn..." Opps!)

SuperspyGal...Any time I am in need of a laugh, you are there to save the day...and those bigass doe eyes...mesmerizing...Wonder Woman has nothing on you...except a theme song, and Phats is working on it...



Sorry about the 'do rag, TWolf...I had to improvise with Tyson's bandana...And I was not sure about what your tats are, so I settled for a nice butterfly tattoo...To convey your sweet disposition. You kinda look like a wild Bishop...Stay away from Jamwall...and get out of MN while you can...


Lookie! It's Normal Shife.
I could never recreate the best photo of you as a freak...so instead, the Barf Machine Quincy will be molesting you...Egg whites not included...To this day, I swear you are Napoleon and Kip's bastard brother...Editor's note: I am not sure what is making your lips so shiny...could it be Bonne Bell, or Little Debbies?



Cupcake I am so glad you are in my life. Sorry I was too lazy to make you Tinkerbell wings. If you had 'em, I woulda told you to buzz off...so glad you don't...You are a keeper...in my dungeon...of funnies...Roh Roh! Re Ruv Ru!




Honorable mentions...Other people I think I have seen photos of:
Maemidwest...Where do I begin? I could not re-create your folds...Ben Folds...Ben Folds Five...sorry, inside joke..

Design Goddess, I did not have the man-power to re-enact you brushing your teeth with Joe Simpson looking over you...I am left handed, and I couldn't get him right on the right...

Sherri- I wanted to create you using that photo when you had super-long hair, but I didn't have enough Barbie Dolls...

Spinning Girl
No Barbie hair could compete..

Phats-You are like Kazoo, my lil secret ;)

Baby Jewels-
Once again, I did not have enough hair or bling to re-create your 90s Prom...

Nutty Blonde- I ran out of laughing juice!


Shannon- I didn't have Barbie hair or a Brillo Pad the shade of your Kelly Clarkson Butternut-Honey-Beige-Sienna-Gold

Stacy-The poop was hidden in Cher's head...We will share with you, though...

Jamwall- Fuck it...Why paint the peacock?

If I am leaving anyone out, sorry...that's Hollywood!



People I wish I had a photos of...
Andraste- I would make you wear CROCS!
Batty Princess Enforcer- I would color your hair with Kool-Aid and give you a mullet...or a rat tail...

Thank you, and good night!

34 Comments:

Blogger Bat said...

roflmao that was hilarious --- a mullet? how about some lita ford hair :-)

4:53 AM PST  
Blogger Andraste said...

Me in crocs wouldn't be a very good representation, would it! Aren't you striving for accuracy here?

Do a red haired puppet wearing docs and looking disdainful, and you'd be getting close.

5:27 AM PST  
Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

ROFLMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
you are absolutely INSANE !!! LOL...You are a true hand puppet Goddess!!!
I'd shake your hand but that one pic really DID look like a snatch..so I will just bow to you !!

WELL DONE !!
LMAOOOO..I can't stop laughing !!

5:47 AM PST  
Blogger Big Mama said...

LOL!! Awesome! That was great! I hope to see more in the future. Be careful not to get too many snatch-like pics or we are gonna have to change the name of this blog to ??? You are the Hand Puppet Queen! YAY!!! for you!

6:10 AM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

That you....
Cupcake- is that an Aero bar in your pocket, or...


Batty-Malibu barbie wouldve been honored to give her hair for you...


Andraste-coming soon...you wait...something tells me you wore creepers in the late 80s...

superspy-You are my inspiration...you are damn hilarious...

Big mama-thank you....you are so linked..sausage linked..to go with the snatch...its all a big circle...

8:04 AM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

The girls were more fun to do than the boys...

like in real life...

8:12 AM PST  
Blogger Sherri Sanders said...

LOL! Not enough barbie dolls. :D

That's ok seahag, I appreciate the thought!

8:51 AM PST  
Blogger Sherri Sanders said...

Oh, my favorite is t. leach. I love how you got the black bar across his eyes! LOL!!!

8:53 AM PST  
Blogger babyjewels said...

Oh Dear Lord, please move here and entertain me in person! You kill me. love it. love it.

9:32 AM PST  
Blogger mkecurler said...

oh my, these puppets look a little whorey if you ask me. Avenue Q here seahag comes!

9:47 AM PST  
Blogger cher said...

mel, mel, mel.....we're so mot worthy! So now that you've done all the intros, who do i get to make out with in the live performace?

10:17 AM PST  
Blogger FU said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

OH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


THis is by far the FUNNIEST BLOG TO DATE!

*sigh*.... i hope my weekend surprise is as good :)

now go wash ur hand ;)

fu

10:19 AM PST  
Blogger Big Mama said...

LOL!!! Y'all are killing me over here! I think TWolf's turban looks a little scarey and cupcake's got some mean looking eyebrows, LOL!!!

As for sausage....mmm yeah, sausage, LOL!!!

11:07 AM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

sabatkes-I made Cher'd puppet do a rendition of Avenue Q's It Sucks To Be Me...

Cher-you get to make out with Shife..


Sherri-T.Leach tried to goose me...

FU-I can't wait til your surprise...

cupcake-you and Shife were taking turns on Quincy, the bassett hound...

Big mama- Twolf looks like the pope..

11:23 AM PST  
Blogger twolf1920 said...

Just for that Big mama, NO BLESSINGS FOR YOU!

(Sincerely,

Twolf the POPE Nazi)

11:51 AM PST  
Blogger twolf1920 said...

Well ist official...LB, you complete me....

11:52 AM PST  
Blogger twolf1920 said...

You gotta make Princess Enforcer look like a valley gurl

11:53 AM PST  
Blogger Mr. Shife said...

LB, you are a frickin' awesome. You make me laugh on the inside and the outside, and the puke machine is rolling on the floor laughing as well. You are the greatest of all time.
I am use to Quincy molesting me, it makes me feel important. I think I am going to have to make a trip to Preston, Idaho where they filmed Napoleon Dynamite and take some action photos for you.
So not only do I get molested by my dog but I also get to make out with Cher. Awesome.

11:54 AM PST  
Blogger cher said...

i'm actually jealous of my hand puppet!!

12:27 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

Shife- please do! Go to Preston!!!
I think you need to blog it asap...can i go?

twolf- now you can get some, with a nun...

After I got bored playing with you, Cher, I flipped you over and scrubbed my kitchen sink...

12:39 PM PST  
Blogger cher said...

i feel so dirty!

i was thinking of calling my blog Confessions of a girl who wants to make out with a dumb white guy, but I don't think Rob would appreciate it very much. In my mind though, that's what it will be. A girl can dream can't she? (Don't worry Jamwall, we'll always have TRIPE!!)

well i'm off...have a great weekend!

12:59 PM PST  
Blogger T. Leach said...

MMMmmm. Snatch. LOL.

1:34 PM PST  
Blogger twolf1920 said...

LB-Will you wear a nuns frock? I will take your confession, and for pennance will offer to spank you...

1:34 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

Cher- a girl can dream! I want to start taking in ebonics and call mine, I Ain't confessin' Nothing!


T Leach- I stole it from Andrew Dice Clay...remember he asked the guy with the beard, "how do you like having a face that looks like a snatch?"
Classic.

Twolf- in your new ordainmet, you are no longer allowed to hit on chicks. you now have to chase little boys.

3:27 PM PST  
Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

LMAOOOOOO...I still can't stop laughing....you even put different shades of lipstick on each puppet...LOL....If you look real fast at Puppet Shifes mouth, it sorta looks like a sphincter with a roid... :-P

Too funny !!!

3:35 PM PST  
Blogger Design Goddess said...

that was so great LB. I laughed so hard! As well as my friend who happened to be looking over my shoulder in studio. :)

And I understand how hard that would have been to create Joe Simpson on your right hand. He's a tricky fella....and creepy too. You'd have to hack off your hand afterward just to feel right again.

I'm so glad to be back and able to enjoy your craziness! :)

5:10 PM PST  
Blogger LBseahag said...

superspy...that mouth needs some preparation H stat!

Design, glad to see your back and you survived the hell week!!

6:25 PM PST  
Blogger Me! said...

Thanks for thinking of me. I'm just glad you didn't wipe your ass with your hand and dedicate it to me. ;-)

6:57 PM PST  
Blogger Big Mama said...

Ok, I concede. Upon further inspection TWolf's "turban" may just look like the Pope's topper but I never would have guessed that the Pope wore a leopard print one. TWolf I guess from here on in you will be known as the Kinky Pope Dude...

7:16 AM PST  
Blogger Phats said...

HAHA i love your reference to Kazoo one of the many reasons you rock

I love thme all btw, I think you captured the spirit of each on of them! good job

2:10 PM PST  
Blogger Andraste said...

...erm...creepers, in the late 80's? Fuck that, I own a pair NOW. That's right. I dress like a lesbian stand up comic. Huzzah!

9:10 AM PST  
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I just made a puppet of my own self, and then cried because it was so beautiful.

5:44 PM PST  
Blogger jamwall said...

i haven't thoght of making hand puppets, just dirty little shadow puppets!

7:08 PM PST  
Blogger Unknown said...

You are a master of hand-puppetry! Maybe you can quit your day job...

12:54 PM PST  

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