Three Cheers for Crackheads and Chevron!

Dear Chevron,

I am impressed with your company's use of the supply and demand theory...

I want to thank you for supplying your Chevron Food Mart on La Tijera and the 405 Freeway with drug paraphernalia.

You and the local Crackheads saved the day.

Today, I stopped by to pick up some nachos, maybe a 2 for 99 cents hotdog, you know, the usual...

I went back out to my car, and it wouldn't start...oh, no! Since I happen to know a buncha stuff about cars, I realized that humidity + battery acid + the steel connector du-hickies don't mix. It messes up the connection, and your car doesn't get juice from the battery...

I went inside to buy a coca-cola, which is known to clear off the corrosion in seconds. I bet Taco Bell Hot Sauce works just as well, but your Chevron has a Wendy's, instead...

It didn't work...what I needed was a wire brush, sand-paper, or even a toothbrush....

But your Food Mart doesn't carry these items. This Chevron is located in the city of Inglewood. People don't brush their teeth in Inglewood!

But, what I did find, was an almost-empty display box with Chore Boy Copper Scrubbers...


I stood in line with my Chore Boy Copper Scrubber, as people in line were looking at me, like, "Hey, that bitch's got some crack and she ain't sharin'"

The cashier asked if I needed a lighter, too.

I am all for suggestive selling, but that's just plain fucked up.

I went out to the car, scrubbed off the du-hickies, and wham! the car started.

To pay it forward and give thanks to all of the Crackheads in the city of Inglewood, I left the Chore Boy Scrubber on the sidewalk...

And the coca-cola can, too...it makes a great pipe for the MacGuyver Pot Heads out there...

Sincerely,

The LB Seahag